Tails And The Baseball Dude
by James Jerkoff
Summary: One day Tails and Sonic are at Sonic's house when a dude with a baseball bat kills Sonic. Tails takes Sonic's house and everything goes swell for a while until one day some crazy events start to occur...
1. Chapter 1: Something fucking happened

Sonic and Tails were sitting on the couch when some dude with a baseball bat came in and started to beat Sonic to death. Sonic was screaming and dying and Tails said "What's wrong? Why you so idiot what's wrong I don't see what's wrong?" Then Tails went up to Sonic and pushed him and said "Wtf is wrong? please tell me Sonic!" As soon as Tails did that Sonic fell down the stairs and cracked his neck and fucking died. Then the dude with the baseball bat used dark magic to ascend into another dimension and he was never seen again. Tails didn't feel guilty even though he was responsible for the death of Sonic The Hedgehog.

The police arrived at Sonic's house to investigate, all they found was a used condom and Sonic's corpse, it's rumored Amy has Sonic's corpse and uses it as a sex toy, but nobody can confirm that. The police questioned Tails but they couldn't find any incriminating evidence that Tails caused Sonic's death, here is the full transcript of the police questioning Tails:

Officer: Where were you the night of the murder

Tails: I was at the local Mcdonald's bathroom forcefully feeding fat bitches big macs, because that's my job.

Officer: Okay you're innocent.

Without Sonic, Tails turned Sonic's house into a crack den which is infested with cockroaches, termites, and other parasitic insects. All was fucking boring until one day...


	2. Chapter 2: Shit Goes Down

It was a cold winter day, Tails was in the living room snorting lines of coke, he didn't have a care in the world. He got high as hell and while he was high a portal to another dimension opened up and out came the baseball dude, Tails stopped and looked at the baseball dude, the baseball dude evilly laughed then walked back into the was tripping balls so he thought that was a hallucination.

The next day some scumbag drug dealer said to Tails

"Hey Tails, why do you do drugs if your like 8?" Tails then grabbed a knife then lodged the knife in the drug dealer's oversized head. Then Tails said to himself

"Fuck where will i get my drugs now?!"

After that Tails went to watch the news, apparently some demon used it's demonic powers to bring a bunch of dead drug dealers back to life, meaning that the drug dealer Tails just killed is alive again. Tails looked outside the window and saw the drug dealers all coming towards the house he stole from Sonic. Tails then took a loaded HK33 and some grenades and started to attack them, and when I said "attack" I actually meant he rarely used any of the weapons, he mainly just flailed his arms around and hoped shit would die.]

Later when Tails went to bed he fell asleep and had a nightmare. In the nightmare, he was sitting in some closet that was dark as hell, when he saw the baseball dude, the baseball dude said "Haha, so you have found me, but what happens next you can't unsee!"

Then the baseball dude preceded to use his dark magic to turn Tails into a big sexy woman and next the baseball dude started to repeatedly penetrate Tails's asshole and Tails got pregnant. Tails then screamed "NOOO, I CAN'T BE IN THIS KIND OF COMMITMENT!" Then Tails woke up and put his hand on his crotch to make sure he still had a dick. He did.


	3. Chapter 3 & Knuckles

After that dream, Tails was excessively paranoid for 3 weeks, he was on the lookout for the baseball dude, but on the fourth week on a warm friday afternoon, Tails got a call on the phone, he scooped the phone up into his hand and he answered the call and said "Hello…?"

On the other end of the phone Amy said

"Hi your mental health is shit."

"Yours is too, Amy."  
"Yeah, you're right." Amy then hung up, Tails was thankful the baseball dude didn't call him, to celebrate, he decided to go outside, he opened the door and as soon as he opened it he nearly died because he hadn't seen the sun in 3 whole weeks, he walked out of his house and then a fat guy with bloodshot eyes, a british accent, and a thick moustache who was wearing green overalls over a shirt that said "I fuck on the first date" put a shotgun up to Tails's head and said "We'Re HiRiNg FoR a JoB aS a SnIpEr, oh yeah also if you don't accept the job we will kill you, and my name is Jake." Tails replied "Yeah sure why not."

And so Tails started his job as a sniper, and he had his first mission, the boss said to kill some fat kid, Tails was confused why he need to kill someone as unimportant as that, apparently the fat kid stole Jake's chocolate bar 3 years ago. Tails aimed the gun at the fat kid and pulled the trigger, the fat kid was dead. Jake gave him 3 cents for getting rid of the fat kid.

Tails went home and immediately got a call on the phone, it was the police,

"Hello sir, this is an automated message, we've heard about drugs in your area, we are going to inspect your house in 30 minutes,bye!" The message ended.

"Fuck, what do i do now." Tails made the decision to call Knuckles. "Hey Knuckles, can I stay over at your house for a while?" Tails asked.

"Yeah but wh-"

"Thanks Knuckles!"

.


End file.
